A Boring Blog About A Boring Blog or Self Love, Self Love, Funny Funny Self Love

I was walking with two dear friends yesterday afternoon and I mentioned, as I often do, how I find myself more amusing, witty, and overall interesting than anyone else ever could. I don't think I am alone in finding myself absolutely hilarious, but I do feel somewhat isolated in how I embrace my level of engagement. There were a few people that we narrowed down that fall into this category. I am somewhat perplexed that this group of people would be in the minority. I mean, how could I NOT find myself interesting. I read books that I like. I participate in cultural events that I find enjoyable. I listen to good music. I talk about topics that I find thrilling. I make jokes that I immediately understand. How could one not find oneself entirely interesting?? Yet, I still feel that I am in the minority. Perhaps it is the amount of time and energy that I expend on expressing how totally hilarious I find myself that is in the minority. My mom is a very funny woman - and she finds herself very funny but I don't think she realizes she finds herself entertaining. Maybe I'm at a higher level of self awareness than most other people. Maybe I need to find more hobbies than most other people. Maybe.
I decided to make a myspace page to convince more people to read what I write. Starved for attention? Maybe.

Pomegranate and Feta Salad

Okay kids, you asked for it. Here it is:

Pomegranate and Feta Salad

1 head romaine lettuce, washed & torn

1 bunch spinach, stems removed, washed & torn

Seeds of one pomegranate or

1/2 cup dried cranberries

¼ cup roasted pine nuts

½ cup crumbled feta cheese

Dressing:

1/3 cup olive oil

1tbsp.red wine vinegar

2tbsp. maple syrup

1tsp. Dijon mustard

½ tsp. oregano

Salt & freshly ground pepper

Toss lettuce and spinach together in a large salad bowl. Add pomegranate seeds, pine nuts and feta. Whisk dressing ingredients together; store in refrigerator. Toss with salad ingredients just before serving. Serves 6.

Enjoy!!

Google This, Byron Gravel

Last summer I was at the Folk Fest, and was posed the question, "if you could see someone from your past, and get updated on their life, who would it be?" My response was easy: Byron Gravel. I'm at a workshop today today and one of the presenters has mannerisms that remind me of one of my favorite friends who has denied me the right of knowing the current, 27 year old, effed up dude who I would be sure to love as much now as I did when I was 16. So, Mr. Gravel, if you are nearly as vain as I hope you are - I look forward to you finding this blog when you google your name. I love you and miss you and would like to be your friend again. Please let me back in. (Please note: this blog was first scripted in a coffee shop beside a soy latte and one table from a handsome man in a blue jacket).
Do people actually find sucess with those ads in the weeklies: "I saw you in the parking lot of PetSmart. You were wearing green, I was tongue-tied and carrying a 2o pound bag of kitty litter..."? I can't imagine them working well. I saw you at that coffee shop on Jasper with the fair trade/organic sign. You were making coffee. I was neglecting my latte and frantically scratching words onto a napkin...
Jessica once described me as having a frantic personality. She got the keys to her new place last night. She brought me and a couple of house plants there where we pictured the likelihood of seeing the tree next door while lying on the couch. It's nice to have someone so close.
Sad and lonely - nothing to do... Yesterday on my way home from work, I was feeling particularly sad as I often do at the end of the day, and I remembered that God really loves me, even when I'm sad. Especially when I'm sad.
The workshop I'm taking is on concurrent disorders - mental health and addictions. One of the questions we are asked to think about is where my hope is: my hope is in the hope of the world - the true hope for redemption: Santa Clause. I mean Jesus. I can't imagine being in the 'helping industry' and have to spend time on that question. I think I would be so overwhelmed without Him. I mean I still feel overwhelmed with Him. Thank God for community.
I'm having a sleepover this weekend, and I'm pretty sure the building of forts will be involved. And dancing, and cocktails. Dancing, and drinking cocktails in a fort with friends. Thanks God!
I'm hopeless, and Byron-less, with nothing to do - and God is good when I am not. Thank you for being the hope of the world. Thank you for making me part of the world. Amen.

What Time is It?

Our clock went missing at work yesterday afternoon. Today there were reported sightings of the clock outside the York. Apparently someone tried to make a buck for a beer. (?!)

Pretty Bag for a Pretty Day

Yesterday I celebrated VD with an animated film about cars and a lively discussion about breast pumps. Today I celebrated all that is Thursday by buying a purse at the House of Bags, a wicked awesome purse shop on 97th street and 105 avenue. I talked to one of the owners and she is fantastic and from Malaysia and they need more costumers. So for the sake of future Thursdays, buy some purses so they can stay open!! Later today I plan on continuing the celebration of Thursday by going to Heidi's and watching The Office because I do not have a Jim Halpert in my life, but I sure do have a pretty new purse. In conclusion, I would like to wish everyone a very happy Thursday, and would like to encourage all of you to briefly embrace the cult of consumerism and a buy a pretty bag because a pretty bag makes for a prettier world.

Seriously Boring

So it turns out that I am indeed seriously boring. I think that since I've entered the blogosphere I've become increasing boring. You see, any seemingly interesting thing about my life, new thoughts, etc. are immediately sent to my blog. So anyone who reads this will also have the pleasure of hearing me speak about how I've become even more boring since I started to blog. Blah. I'm making myself bored. One of the first thoughts I had after being punched in the head was "good - something to write about". So these are my options: do more exciting things, fabricate stories of exciting things, stop writing. Or I could do more exciting things, and then cover them up by fabricating boring stories and then write about how I told boring lies about my exciting life.
Jess is moving into an apartment two buildings down from where I live. I am almost pooping my pants with excitement. (Note: Jess moving in beside me is not boring, so shut it).

Mr. Lonely

A few days ago I had a sudden craving to listen to Caedmon's Call - a band I haven't listened to in years. Man, oh man. I hope that guy got a girlfriend in the meantime. That song "Table for Two" is pretty sounding, but possibly one of the loneliest songs...ever.
I had a really good Sunday today. Last Sunday was totally crappy. I convinced myself that all my friends decided to reject me due to a poor performance at a a party the night before. But today I woke in time for church, and I actually enjoyed the service. I had a pleasant lunch with pleasant people. I caught the bus right after I got to the stop. I read a good book on the way home and didn't puke, or even want to puke. And the day isn't even over yet. I feel like a million bucks. A million. Poor Mr. Lonely. I hope he's having a good Sunday, too.
"Given a chance and a rock see which one breaks a window/And see which one keeps me up all night and into the day"

Grumpy Grumpy Grumpy Pants

You know it's time for a mental health day when you almost cry because there are just so many towels to wash. Thank goodness for long weekends and daquiris!
Yesterday a woman asked me if (fill in the name of the serial killer) was my father. Then she was on the phone and mentioned how she couldn't say much because she was being harrased by the family of (fill in the name of the serial killer). Wow. That was weird.

Shut Your Filthy Mouth

I feel like I spend too much of my time wishing that I did not have opinions and a need to verbalize them. So, from now on I will no longer form opinions. And I will no longer speak. That's a little harsh. I'll still speak, but I will from now on be sure to keep my speaking light and bright. I'll say things like: it is snowing right now; pass the salt, please; or, where is the washroom, I need to evacuate the mucus from my sinus cavities. I think that I will get re-invited to parties that way. Oh boy, I am going to be SO popular!

I Got Punched in the Head Today

That's right, I got punched in the face today. My head banged into a corner and I have a bump to prove it. It was the first time I've ever got hit at work - and the first time I've ever been seriously punched ever. I guess it's good to get the first one out of the way. At least I make a lot of money and am really appreciated by the people I support.

Off the Rim and in the Bowl!!!!

Okay, so I just decided that one of the worst things in my life is the staff washroom. Now this statement sheds much light on the goodness of my life. I do not claim to have a rough life, so shut up already. To say that the staff washroom is so terrible is not entirely true. The alternative would be sharing a toilet with two hundred (many intoxicated) people would be much worse. But to use a washroom that is set aside specifically for the staff and to find urine and hair scattered and splattered is disturbing. Sharing a washroom is not good for team building when I am wondering if the urine that I hovered over three minutes ago came from you. I guess what I what I want to say is clean up after yourself. It's gross. I should just get over this. Although it is disgusting, it's not that big of a deal. (Yah right. If I get Hep...)

Train Wreck

On my way to a restaurant to celebrate my friend Joanna's birthday this evening I had a random flashback from a few years ago. I was travelling across the country by train. Between Edmonton and Winnipeg I had the pleasure of witnessing a white hot affair take off. They met shortly after the train left the Edmonton station. They started talking and before long they were kissing. When we arrived at his stop in Winnipeg she managed to change her ticket and leave with them. I wonder where those crazy kids are today? Probably still in Winnipeg. With a love child. Or maybe in love with child. Sigh...if only I were so lucky.
I may not be lucky, but I did manage to get stuck under the table promptly after I arrived at the restaurant. I didn't know most of the people at Jo's party, so I decided to sit next to the ones that I did. Unfortunately, the spot close to them was right in the corner and everyone would have to get up for me to get in there. So, I did what any logical person in such a situation would do: I got down on the floor to climb under the table to the free spot. But the table was heavier than expected and closer to the bench than expected and I got stuck. The meal was delicious and we discovered an adequately lit and reasonably quiet lounge excellent for conversation. I got stuck under the table. Wow...I'm the prettiest person I know.

Confession and Dream for the Good Life

Confession:
Yesterday I was planning on going to a memorial for those that died to due to homelessness, but I ended up at the mall where I bought Mad Libs. Yikes.
Dream for the Good Life:
I want to live in community with people who live their lives close to Jesus. I want to live close to friends so I can share my life with junkies and prostitutes and people who are sick and people who are poor. Then they can become friends and stop being my clients. Currently I'm giving people towels so they can shower, but I'm not sharing my life with people. I think it is more feasible for me to move into the inner city with intentional community rather than go solo. It will be safer (good PR for potentially worried family). And there will be opportunities for things like a car share and a community garden. Oh boy this is gonna be awesome.
Okay, so this is the plan: I will meet with people who want to relocate to the downtown. We will talk, dream and pray about this idea. We will brainstorm what we would like the building to feel like. We will pray for the downtown. We will pray for each other. We will pray together. We will be community now. We will ask God to move. God will move. God will show us where to go. God will show us when to go. We will go. God will move into the building before us. God will show us what it means to love our neighbor. We will make mistakes. We will have successes. We will see Jesus in those around us.
Well, I'm sold.
We will be meeting Sunday Jan 29 at 7:00 chez moi. Any takers?

Question:

Would you rather die looking good or hardly looking?

Mr. Darcy, Where Are You?

I think I may be addicted to Jane Austen. That may be a bit of an exaggeration as I haven't picked up one of her books for a long time. I really like getting reacquainted to Mr. Knightly on the beach. (And, well, it's more blizzard than beach right now). I cannot think of a better beach book than Emma. But the object of my current love is not Mr. Knightly, but Mr. Darcy. Oh boy. I watched the newer version of Pride and Prejudice and I'm hooked. I've watched it twice in one week and I'm using all my strength to pause it so I can watch The Office in a few minutes.
Many many years ago I met someone with an Irish name and we didn't get along very well and we did not fall in love. I think he did make me cry a few times though. I am glad that we did not fall in love- but the hate turned to love thing worked very well for Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. So, for all you cats out there ...I just missed the first f'n minutes of The Office. Draw your own conclusions please.

A Few of My FAVORITE Things

1. Sick days used well.
2. Going to a matinee during the week.
3. Eating too much candy at a weekday matinee and needing to take another sick day because of stomach problems.
4. Words that rhyme with "luck".
5. The patch of eczema on my eyelid.
6. Unending colds with an undending supply of mucus.
7. Feeling too sick and lazy to get groceries for a week.
8. My friend Esther cooking Indian food at the end of a week of being sick and lazy.
9. My dad's fancy new car.
10. My silly little car being stuck in a pile of snow.
11. Stressing out about my silly little car when the city has "threatened" to clear the roads and would leave my little automobile stuck until the spring - or the rapture - whatever comes first.
12. Being so dependent on a car that after having one for only eight months I feel stressed when I can't use it.
13. Jesus's birthday.
14. People celebrating Jesus's birthday with rampant consumerism.
15. Jesus.
16. The patch of eczema on my eyelid that is begging, begging, begging to be scratched.
17. Remembering that eczema can be aggrevated by caffeine - and being so in love with coffee.
18. Jesus (Happy Birthday!!!)

The Dirty Librarian Pt 2

Here is something from the Message that encouraged me soon after my terrible days:
If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face (Romans 12).
I was irritated and depressed and I didn't have a smile on my face. I think a smile helps. I'll work on smiling more.

On a different note...my dad bought a BMW. No joke.

The Dirty Librarian

I went home early two days in a row for mental health purposes because I had two craptastic days in a row. Yesterday all was well until the afternoon when a client freaked out and threatened a coworker. I was okay until I found myself on the floor with no one available and then dude passed out on the toilet and girlfriend was afraid he would seize. Everyone was dealing with police and I grabbed one to give me a hand and it was his first time in our hood and I so annoyed that I had to ask him for help - and his help was to encourage me to call the ambulance. And let me tell you, the phone call pushed me from the edge of annoyance to fully in, swimming in, a cesspool of annoyance. I was unable to articulate the fact that I did not have a cordless phone to take to dude on the toilet and that no, I could not see him and that no, I did not have anyone to help me and that I've done this a MILLION times before.
Today had no real substance as to why it sucked. I've been cleaning the back room for about three days now and I'm tired of it and I feel sick and I tend to allow myself to live in a state of annoyance when I'm sick and feeling taxed. But here's some good news: the redness has moved from my belly button to my eyes. (Yessssss!)
Reflecting on the past two days I think it was mostly pride that caused my terrible annoyance. I was really upset that I was forced to ask the newbie cop for help and I was upset that the ambulance dispatcher didn't trust my judgment and treated me as if I was stupid. I want to be respected despite my gender and age. (Being respected because of my gender and age might be pushing it a little). It's also pride that tricks me into believing that it's acceptable to be grumpy about cleaning up (other people's) messes in the back. Hmmmm... I wonder if Jesus would clean up messes with his grumpy pants on or in his humble pants. Okay. I just decided to put my humble pants on tomorrow morning.

Red Itchy Shopping Carts

I think my belly button might be infected or something. I did a little google search and I think I'm going to try washing it with salt water twice a day for 2-3 days and if the symptoms persist I may see my physician. I am going to bed right away and I'm looking forward to it. What I'm most looking forward to is lying in bed listening to the heat maker thing. It sounds like a shopping cart and at first I thought it was a shopping cart because there are carts in my hood and then I realized that it was really just the sound of staying warm. Now it's time for me to not think about my red itchy belly button and just focus on sleep.

It's Tax Reciept Time

Good news kids! One of my favorite things in the world, Candeo Housing Association, just recieved it's charitable status. We've been praying and waiting for it for what seems like forever. And we got it! Youpee! So now we get to fundraise a couple million and then buy a building and then let the good Lord heal people in the midst of community. Got questions? Want to give Candeo your $money$? Check out our site...it may or may not change your life.

Regret Regret Beget My Regret

It's cold outside and I'm inside and I will stay inside until the sun is up again. Usually I have incentive to leave my home on Thursday evenings to go to Heidi's and watch the Office - but it's not on tonight so instead I'm staying in and dreaming of the moment when I get enough ambition to get up and go to bed. One entirely annoying quality that I possess is a need for approximately 18 hours of sleep during the winter. Grrrr....
My airband party has come and gone. It was good. I really like airbands, and I really like dancing, and I really like friends, and I really like friends dancing and airbanding. One consistent problem with my parties is that immediately after the party I am filled with a sense of "oh no, what have I done?!" No seriously, what have I done? This photo is one example of "what have I done?" As you can see I am standing on a chair acting out a song with Barbie and Ken dolls. "Where it began/I can't begin to know when/but I know it's growing strong...".

BFF Birthdays

Today is my good friend, Heidi's, birthday. Happy birthday Heidi. Happy birthday. Next week is my good friend Esther's birthday. Happy birthday, Esther. Happy birthday.

In Love With Life and Air Guitar

I am so in love with community. I love sharing my life with people I love. I love that in community I am forced to live my life with people even on the days that I don't want to live. I love learning from people who are sometimes very similar and sometimes very different from myself. I love how I can give more love when I'm surrounded in loving relationships. I love that parties errupt from community. I love airbanding in community. (I love airbanding).
As mentioned on my last posting, the next airband party is coming up in a couple weeks. There's nothing like a little bit of spandex and eyeliner that brings people together. I'm terribly excited about this party. I love dancing. I love exessive costumes. I love guitar shaped cakes. I love watching people trash it up and rock out. So, here are some photos from last year (just a little tease of the event to come).








On a completely different topic, today I remembered how one year when I was a camp counselor at a conservative Christian Bible camp I convinced all the girls in my cabin to embrace the anthem: lewd! crude! slightly nude! Sigh...

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like....

So I went to my first work Christmas Party. It seems that I may have avoided previous parties for a very good reason. I enjoy my coworkers very much. But the problem with having a party with a ton of people that work together is that it isn't common interests that bring people together. No, no, no. It is a common workplace. This to me indicates a potentially dangerous social situation. Someone is bound to be unhappy with the goings on. One of those unhappy suckas was me. Our Christmas party was at a "Seinfeld" themed dinner theatre...in the mall. I KNOW! Oh well. Some people really enjoyed it I'm sure. Fortunately, I have a party that I will enjoy coming up very soon. (Drumroll please....) It's the 4th annual ROCK STARS AIRBAND PARTY Nov. 18th!! (I even rented a hall this year!!!!) Wooo!! Partay!!! It's beginning to feel a lot like airbanding...

The Sower

I went to the library today to pick up a copy of Henri Nouwen's "Peacework: Prayer, Resistance, and Community." Although I have not yet started reading the book I think I will love it. Wanna know why? I'll tell you why. For a lengthy period of time when I would think of Jesus I would see Jean Francois Millet's painting "The Sower," and then it evolved to Van Gogh's take on "The Sower". In my mind's eye, Jesus was the sower. I believe that some of the seeds that Jesus was sowing were seeds of justice. Needless to say, I was THRILLED to pick up "Peacework" and discover Van Gogh's version is on the cover. I can hardly wait for Jesus to teach me while I read. I just can't wait. Yes I can.