The Dirty Librarian

I went home early two days in a row for mental health purposes because I had two craptastic days in a row. Yesterday all was well until the afternoon when a client freaked out and threatened a coworker. I was okay until I found myself on the floor with no one available and then dude passed out on the toilet and girlfriend was afraid he would seize. Everyone was dealing with police and I grabbed one to give me a hand and it was his first time in our hood and I so annoyed that I had to ask him for help - and his help was to encourage me to call the ambulance. And let me tell you, the phone call pushed me from the edge of annoyance to fully in, swimming in, a cesspool of annoyance. I was unable to articulate the fact that I did not have a cordless phone to take to dude on the toilet and that no, I could not see him and that no, I did not have anyone to help me and that I've done this a MILLION times before.
Today had no real substance as to why it sucked. I've been cleaning the back room for about three days now and I'm tired of it and I feel sick and I tend to allow myself to live in a state of annoyance when I'm sick and feeling taxed. But here's some good news: the redness has moved from my belly button to my eyes. (Yessssss!)
Reflecting on the past two days I think it was mostly pride that caused my terrible annoyance. I was really upset that I was forced to ask the newbie cop for help and I was upset that the ambulance dispatcher didn't trust my judgment and treated me as if I was stupid. I want to be respected despite my gender and age. (Being respected because of my gender and age might be pushing it a little). It's also pride that tricks me into believing that it's acceptable to be grumpy about cleaning up (other people's) messes in the back. Hmmmm... I wonder if Jesus would clean up messes with his grumpy pants on or in his humble pants. Okay. I just decided to put my humble pants on tomorrow morning.