Could Not Be MORE Pleased

I do not know how I managed to survive eight months as a full-time drop in worker. Holy heff. A couple of the full-time drop in staff were sick this week, and I found myself migrating downstairs to take some of the heat. Working in the drop in was hands-down the hardest job I have ever had. It wasn’t even super busy, but people were rowdy. Very very rowdy. I am upstairs today. That is nice.
I finished watching that show this week. It was good to get it done. I have my life back again. It was a very intense month of tv. I think I’m through with television for awhile, or at least until next Thursday when The Office starts again.
Last night I met with a few of my future co-op friends. It was great. Jessica is opening up a bank account for us today. I have really been appreciative of all recent tangible advancements in my projects. I feel like everything in my life is taking too long, and I’m feeling impatient and discouraged. But, we are opening a bank account today to pool together funds to pay for our incorporation fees, and for the consulting group. I have been dreaming of a housing co-op for years, and it’s finally happening. But it’s not how I imagined. It is happening without some of the people that I thought would be involved. I'm a bit saddened that the rules of marriage are keeping some of my loved ones from being my neighbour. I try to pretend that I understand. I don’t. It makes me sad, and I feel a bit rejected; but I have a handful of wonderful friends that are pleased to be my neighbours (and these kids know how to party). Now co-op friends, if you are reading this, do not be alarmed. I am very very happy that you are joining me in this venture. I could not be more pleased with you (unless, of course, one of you was a beautiful boy who likes talking about the ecosystem of (fill in the blank), and who finds me more awesome than weird. But, that is not the case). Friends, I could not be more pleased with you. I am excited that we're working together.
I am blogging instead of working. Today is the last day of a crazy crappy week, and I am writing this instead of case notes. Good for me. And because you all are so enthralled with my body-talk... I think that I may damaged my stomach with the chocolate/cheese/corn adventure over Easter. I was getting better and I feel like I'm at square one again. It makes me cry a little when I think of it. That was stupid. And tasty. And stupid. And tasty. But mostly stupid.

California Here We Come

 My short absence from blogging can be attributed to a number of factors.
1. I’ve been feeling busy. Now, I must clarify that feeling busy and actually being busy are not necessarily one and the same. It would not be unreasonable to say that I have not been that busy. I’ve felt a bit stressed out about a project, but that pressure has since been relieved. I tend to feel more busy when I’m stressed.
2. Easter. I was out of town from Thursday – Monday. Up from the grave he arose. There is no internet in Vermilion.
3. I’ve recently discovered a tv show. It’s about wealthy kids living in California. I was sure that I would never watch that show and that if I did, I would hate it. I think I saw about 10 minutes of it when it was on the air. I found myself borrowing the first season from the library. After each episode I would say something like, “this show is so good”. I am now addicted, and have purchased all 4 seasons. Not something I usually do, but it just felt right. If it feels good, do it.
4. Chocolate, cheese and popcorn. I don’t usually give in to cravings that have the potential to make me very very ill. But I thought, “hey, I’m feeling better, bring it on”. I brought it on, and have felt regret for over a week. I now know that popcorn is not my friend, and that I don’t know the meaning of moderation.
5. Hawksley Workman. He’s not actually a contributing factor, but I just wanted all you suckers to know that he was at the Winspear on Monday, and my socks were officially knocked off. What a guy! He played for almost 3 hours. I couldn’t help but compare it to that one time when I had a lapse of judgement, and found myself at the Justin Timberlake extravaganza. Hawksley had props (a mini drum kit and keyboard), and costumes (spacey antennas, and green jumpsuits), AND Timbaland WASN’T there, and the girl on stage was wearing clothes. What more could I have asked for???
The truth is, number three is the main reason that I haven’t been writing. All I do in my free time is watch that show. California….

You are Good

Someone recently reminded me that I have good friends. And it's true. Not only are my friends good at being friends, they are also good at being people. An example from today: Andy stopped by my work to let me know that the voicemail system he was working on is ready to go. He told me about how Google and the city of San Francisco is providing SF homeless free phone numbers and voicemail. In response to my enthusiasm, Andy and some of his friends have worked on setting up a voicemail system for the homeless of Edmonton. Right now we need to find the $ so the system can move out of his friend's basement. Yup. I have good friends. 

Things You Should Know About: an update

My new purse has done me well so far. I used to it to carry gluten free crepes, fruit, and drinks to Sarah's birthday party. She had a crepe party, and I was planning on doing the usual eat before, and drink a glass of water slowly to not draw too much attention on my high maintenance diet. Instead, I made some crepes at home. I imagined that they would be a disaster, but I was wrong. They were simple and turned out well. 1 cup brown rice flour, 3 eggs, 1/4 to 1/2 cup water, and 1-2 tablespoons oil. I will definitely be making them again. 

The fundraiser went well. Although we had a ton of help cleaning up after the event, I wasn't able to catch the end of the show.  Heidi is perfect. She is our #1 volunteer. High five! 

The documentary isn't until tonight. I hope that I can convince someone to record it for me. 

I still like cookies. 

Update concluded.

Things You Should Know About

1. The House of Bags is moving to WEM. The last day they are open in Chinatown is March 20. I went there today and bought a bag. I recommend you do the same. 

2. There is a good sounding documentary on Sunday night on the Passionate Eye. Warning: it's about street people, and we will all likely love it.  Warning: if you have cable, I will be asking to watch it with you.

3. Candeo is holding its second annual dessert night fundraiser this Saturday. We would prefer that you rsvp, but we will accept a few last minute stragglers. 

4. Not that I want to compete with Candeo's fundraising efforts, there is a show that I hope to catch the end of. Mark Templeton is playing his last show in Edmonton for awhile. We should all go after the fundraiser.

5. I like cookies. I really do. 

6. Happy birthday, Sarah D. Happy birthday.

For You...

When I got in to work this a.m. I had eight voicemail messages. Very manageable for being out of the office for a day and a half. Two of them were from this guy who calls me quite frequently when he’s inebriated and not incarcerated. The first message was that he missed the sound of my voice, and that he wants to dance with me. The second message was a continuation of the dancing theme. He played the Fleetwood Mac song “Songbird”. I find him more funny than creepy, so overall it was a somewhat pleasant experience.

Kick Me

I took today off because I am going crazy and I need a break. Yesterday I decided to spend most of today writing for my non-paid job (volunteering - ever heard of it?). Instead I slept until until 8, cleaned the house (finally), went to the naturopath, and then went to the mall. I was looking for a white blouse, but instead I bought my second pair of kicks in two weeks. That's right 2 pairs in 2 weeks. I may have a sneaker problem. I now have three pairs that are the same, but in different colors (brown/yellow, pink, and now black/white). They are all pretty much awesome. Augh!!! I am so unproductive. 

Scratch Another Back, Scratch a Back Next to You

My life has had the distinctive feel of lack of adventure. It has been this way for about a year or more. I have been fortunate enough for a number of summers that included a little out of town adventure - often on my own. Due to lack of funds and a lack of destination, my adventures have remained quite local and, well, boring. Not that I have been bored for over a year, I've just had an itch that remained unscratched. I have had the opportunity for a mini-adventure this week. An acquaintance, who I will now call my "friend" invited me to take part in a film project that he and a friend (for this posting will be called "friend 2") were working on. I tried to heighten my sense of adventure by asking almost no questions, and by imaging unfortunate things. For instance, there was a point where I was standing a few feet from the top of a hill, and trees were blocking my view to the top of the hill. Friend and friend 2 were doing something in the car. I kept on picturing them driving away leaving me stranded. Later we drove by a "Curves" and a laser hair removal place. I imagined them trying to convince me to go for a Curves 30 minute workout and then get some lasering done. As I'm writing it, it doesn't sound like it would actually increase the adventure - but you weren't there. The questions I did not ask included: are you filming now, why am I here, and would you like to be my friends? I really get a kick out of ambiguity from time to time. I found the unknown exciting. Now, I'm not saying that the itch was entirely scratched, but it's a little more manageable now. So friend, and friend 2, although you will never read this, and we might not actually be friends, thanks for the adventure.

(Now it's time for a R&A's breakfast with my girls! Yes!)

Men

Today was my second, and last day of being friends with two nice boys. Oh the memories that I will have forever. Sitting on a bench in the park, sitting on a chair in a house, walking down the street, walking up a hill... When we were walking, we passed a young woman who was really high and messed up. Then we saw this guy, in his early 20s, he was clean looking, middle class. We were close by as he passed the girl, and he asked if she "wanted to party". It was really terrible. She was so vulnerable - and he just really wanted to take advantage of her. I know this happens lots, but it was gross to see. It's men like that who make me want to not walk alone. It's men like that who make me feel like maybe I should be wearing a bigger hoodie, like it's a problem and my fault for having a body. It's men like that who make me want to say "I don't like men". But I know that by taking a stand like "some men are johns, so I don't like men" is a really hateful thing. And, I was with two men who were equally upset with this guy's behavior. There are lots of really good people in this world. There are lots of people, men and women, who value life. There are men out there who don't do the drive by heckle. I am going to try to be more aware of my "I don't like men" thoughts and statements. There are lots of good men out there.

Decisions Decisions

So I didn't make it to Calgary yesterday. Andy was arriving at the Calgary airport from his Italian excursion. Jess went to pick him up. She was going to leave sometime after one. I thought: hey, people shouldn't let their friends drive three hours all alone. I should go with her. So, I gave her a call and left work early and hopped in her car. I immediately knew I had made the wrong decision. My leg and back issues make sitting a bitch. And it was warm and wet and I typically vomit under those conditions. So, 1o blocks into our journey, I asked her to pullover and I walked home. Spazzy? Yes. Best decision ever? Maybe. Last night I finished rereading the final Harry Potter book and I did the dishes and I tidied up a bit and I danced and went to bed at 9:30. Best decision ever? Absolutely.

Hey, Valentine!

I know you are all probably wondering how my Valentine's day was. Well, it was pretty good. Work was okay, supper was good, someone bought me shit that I don't need, and we had a community meeting. At the meeting, we decided that we are going to form as a continuing co-operative. This seemed like the best option for awhile, but the work, and potential cost of setting up a co-op was a huge deterrent. Last Saturday, we met with a group that consults co-housing groups. It was nice to get some professional advice, but the cost of having them plan our project was just too much. So we're going to do most of the leg work, and check in with them periodically to make sure that we're on the right track. This has been my dream for 3 years and it looks like it's really going to happen. I am very excited. My heart is racing, but it is now passed my bedtime. I hope I can sleep....

Best Night Ever

Aaugh! It's only 8 and I'm already having the best night. I took my roommate to catch the shuttle to the airport. I am home alone and wearing only one pair of pants. That's right...the legging pair. And my mom called to tell me that if I save my grocery receipts I can claim the difference in cost of my gluten free breads and regular things on my taxes. And I just made some white basmati rice. White rice and leggings. This night is OFF THE HOOK!

Yeah, I'm Gonna Marry a Carrot

I am winding down after a grumpy/crappy week with the Simpsons. It's the episode when Lisa decides to become a vegetarian. I remember when I was a kid and wanted to become a vegetarian. I mentioned it once or twice to my mom. She didn't receive it well, and as I was the peace maker child in my family, I didn't push it.  It wasn't until my second year on my own that I went for it. I finally went down the path that was chosen for me. It was an exciting time. But it was also stressful relating my choice to the people that knew me all my life. I am thankful that I had that discussion with my family years ago. It was an uncomfortable time. I stopped eating meat AND I got my nose pierced. How could I have tortured my parents so much? It's funny to look back on because neither of those actions should have been that big of a deal. But I guess my folks felt like I was rejecting their way of life. My life does look a lot different than theirs, but our core values remain similar. We value love, laughter, and punk rock. 

My grandma still seems to find it very odd. She is a wonderful and hilarious woman and when she remembers my deficiency she says something like, "Oh Angie, what are YOU going to eat? Should I boil you an egg?" If I didn't have the gluten thing going on, I would try veganism, but I do have the gluten-thing, so yes, Grandma, an egg would be great.  

I really do love this episode - its the one with the pig roast. A few years ago we had a family reunion with a pig roast. It was a bonding time for me with my parents and brothers. Despite (or maybe because of) raising pigs on the farm for years, most of us don't do pork. It was hard to not picture the roast floating through the air...  Anyway, if there is one thing I have learned from the Simpsons: "You don't make friends with salad". 

So Long Friends...

Okay, so I'm not a super internet-y kind of gal. I like it. I use it. But I'm not the person you go to hear about new cool things on this world wide web. I obsessively look on real estate sites to find the perfect home for my community. I read my friends blogs. I sometimes check the news. And that's about it. Well, the times, they are a-changin'. I love the blogosphere. I love how indulgent it is. I love how strangers can stumble upon my ramblings and become instantly bored. I love how I can get to know intimate details of a person's life that I will never know. I love it, I love it, I love it. So, my new hobby is reading the blogs of strangers. It feels a bit uncomfortable and creepy but I'm willing to suck it up for the sake of entertainment. From now on my internet time will be divided as follows: emailing 30%; real estate 10%; facebook 10%; blog-related activities 50%. I am very, very excited about this new arrangement. One more change, I have decided to change the break down of my days: sleep 8.5 hours; eating/cooking/grocery shopping 1.5 hours; work 8 hours; exercise 1 hour; neti pot .25 hours; thinking about unicorns and/or Scott Baio .25 hours; bathroom .5 hours; internet 5 hours. That leaves no time for real life friends. Sorry. It was nice while it lasted.  

Read at Your Own Risk

I got accused of "swooning" today. I don't consider myself to be one who swoons.  I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me. I have a two week attention span. I am the fickle-est of the fickle. I sometimes wish that I could engage in a normal level of unhealthiness and get my heart broken in a "normal" way. Maybe I don't have a heart. Or, maybe all the bubble wrap that I've been eating is doing it's job and my heart is enjoying the protection only plastic can provide. Sexy. I'm going to blame today's posting on the upcoming V-day. Blah. If I start to complain about consumerism, it will be so obvious that I am only doing so because I have no one to buy me shit that I don't need. Well, so what. I can buy myself chocolate, and I know how to read labels for my diet better than anyone else. So take that. 

I am so grumpy today it's ridiculous. If only my bubble-wrapped heart had room to breathe. Maybe then I'd be loveable and loving. Maybe then.

Take These Seeds, and Shove 'Em

Today, Candeo played at short video at Central about the property we are working on purchasing and renovating. It's exciting to hear that people are excited for us. It's nice to finally have something tangible. Yah! I was a bit nervous about the video because we filmed it last Saturday and there were a couple disastrous moments. For me, the most disastrous was when I was doing fake chin ups standing on a ladder. I fell off, and Duane caught me. It was really really awkward. But that moment did not make the cut. Phew. 

My doc has got me eating seeds. That sounds fine. But it's not fine. I am currently eating 2 tbsp ground flax seed. I put it in strawberry/apple sauce. It's the most disgusting part of my day. And I'm taking so many things I forget what it's supposed to help. I alternate between flax and sunflower seeds depending on the moon. The oil is supposed to help __. What __ is, I have no idea. I just finished it. I really hate eating it. Oh well.

I know that I have been writing/talking/thinking too much about my health, but it just really excites me right now. I now feel well enough to read my body. Now I want to eat when I'm hungry, not when I've stopped hurting. I base my eating around hungry/not hungry rather than hurting lots/not hurting too much. Can you even believe it??? Corn really effed me up. Good bye, leaky gut. Good bye.

Tonight, Central starts a month of Sunday night lectures from the Micah Challenge. I am really excited. "Only YOU can make poverty history". 

Decidedly NOT a Fish Eater

I do not have to take fish oil. I do not have to take fish oil! I DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE FISH OIL! How awesome is that?
I am pouting because I have to work late tonight and it's snowy and I'm sleepy and I'm addicted to a series of novels about a young wizard. Because I am pouting, I think it would be best if I reflected on the funniest thing I heard this week. I was in the drop in and this guy said "why do you work in the inner city...when you could be a model?" I almost crapped my pants it was so funny. I think he meant model citizen. I vote in most elections; I hardly speed; I never purposely trip people on the sidewalk.

Mini Freak Out

Augh! It's my 1o year high school reunion this year and I am currently receiving an onslaught of Facebook messages regarding said reunion and at this moment it is freaking me out. Maybe it's just tonight: the cider, the Harry Potter that is leading to my sense of holy sh*t... but holy sh*t! I don't know why its freaking me out. I think it's because I was a weird quiet kid in school and although I'm now not as quiet... 

Maybe it's because I was completely forgettable and it will feel weird to be there with my friends who were less forgettable. I'm hoping that Heidi and Lauryn will both come. Lauryn was an athlete and Heidi was active in school council stuff. I was the kind of kid that no one has any reason to remember. I was average in every possible way. Not popular. Not a loner. Not picked on. Not a bully. Not much of anything. It is seriously causing me intense turmoil at this moment. Maybe it's the cider.  I can just picture the conversations: uh... who are you? Right. And you went to school with us? Right. Yeah. I kind of remember you. Are you married? (and then the conversation ends when I vomit on the person's shoes). 

And...back to my cider. 

Fish Eater?

I have been wrestling with the idea of starting to take fish oil supplements. The idea repulses me and makes me feel a bit guilty. I have been praying that God would give me really clear direction on this one. A dream. Something. Anything. Yesterday I began to think about how the Creator made us all interdependent. I depend on fish to sustain certain ecosystems. Fish sometimes benefit from people removing a couple of them from ecosystems. If a fish can be used to heal me, then I can believe that for this time in my life, healing from the Creator is through fish. It still disturbs me that I may have to put parts of a once living creature through my mouth, but God will give me strength. I hope I don’t cry. That would look really wimpy.

On a different note, I am now a believer in the power of nasal irrigation systems. I finally got a Neti Pot. It is WONDERFUL. For a gal with allergies and a constant case of the “stuffies” this little bad boy has changed my life. I have been using it every morning, and I feel moisturized and I breathe so much easier. Apparently you can get plastic ones at drugstores. I haven’t seen one yet, but once I do…I will buy probably more than one and give them to allergy-d and sinus infection prone family and friends. It is that good.

Yesterday I was at my friendly-neighborhood big box stationary store (not so friendly, not in my neighborhood) and there were these light-up pens with Bambi in them (for 99 cents) and I did just what that store wanted me to do, and I bought one. I even tried to think of why I wanted that pen. Do I need another pen? No. I bought it because it had floaty sparkles and a plastic Bambi in AND it lit up. I am SUCH a sucker for stationary.

Today, I talked to the guy who I called an a-hole and he was very nice.

There's No Romance in My Blood (and no-antibodies to give me the diagnosis I crave)

I talked to an a-hole today on the phone. It was work related - I was advocating for someone. He was the employer and landlord. I was being nice. I kept my voice low and calm. I think he knew he was in trouble from the get-go and he responded defensively. But seriously. He didn't have to be so mean. I found myself spewing out phrases of dirty words for about 7 minutes after I hung up the phone. I haven't been that angry for a loooong time. 

On a different note, my roommate has a fever tonight and she ordered pizza. Now, I'm not much of a pizza eater, but I do know a thing or two about being sick...

I went to Pizzeria Prego  last Friday night and they have gluten free crusts there!!!!!! !!!!!! They do have corn in them, (and cheese on them) and it was delicious. It's been awhile since I've had pizza, and I ate the whole thing in one sitting. That was somewhat regrettable, but I have pizza back in my life (well, kind of in my life - corn and dairy aren't my best friends). 

Speaking of best friends...have you seen "Scott Baio is 45 and Single"?!?? Maybe it was the pizza, but that is one good-trashy show. I am thankful for the writers strike. I have my Thursday nights back, and when I visit my cable-d friend, I can gorge on reality shows without feeling too guilty about it. For example: "Hey what do you want to do tonight?" "We can watch cable." "Okay, but there's nothing on." "I guess we can watch Scott Baio again." "Okay." See? It's that simple. 

I've decided to try to convince my family to all get tested for Celiacs (even though I've never been actually "diagnosed" with it). Tonight, I checked in with my mom and talked with one of my brothers. I am pretty sure that if anyone in family has it, it is my darling middle brother. Years ago when my spirit knew it was time to say good-bye to gluten it was difficult, but manageable. I had a healthy lifestyle even when I was ill. I can't imagine making such a big change and not being very healthy. I guess the only thing I can do is ask the Creator to speak to and heal his spirit.

I am going through a strange time right now. I feel like I am going through healing from the years of being sick and not looking sick and having physicians brush me off. It was really hard when I hurt so bad and had nothing to show for it. No one seemed to take me seriously. I was so low. My body ached. I was emotionally drained. But from what I was being told, I was the picture of health. I really tried hard to brush it off. It seems a bit silly that I am so emotional about this. But I finally feel vindicated. And now that I'm throwing around the C-word, I no longer feel like it's necessary to throw in disclaimers about my diet, and I feel less apologetic when I ask questions in restaurants. You probably don't care. That's fine. But this is a big thing for me right now. 

Gimme Yer Money

Candeo Housing Association has put an offer on a building and the offer was accepted, and now we need to raise $555, 000. If you have any extra dollars, we could use them. It's a four-plex in the West end - off Stony Plain Road. It's a really great building and I'm really excited. So now it's grant writing time and asking people for money. Just think, if everyone who reads this blog chips in ten dollars, we'll have a hundred dollars in no time. One hundred! I guess every little bit helps. 

The Digging-est Dog

There are fire trucks outside my place right now. The fire alarm from the next building just went off. My guess is that there was a fire. When I was younger, I remember thinking that if I was ever in a building that was on fire, I would just jump in the shower. It seemed like the smartest solution. How can you burn when you're soaking wet? I later found out about the power of smoke and having the ceiling cave on one's head. Now if I'm ever in a building that is one fire I will plan on using the nearest exit and stay low to the ground. 

Last night I saw "Juno" (finally) and it was really great. I knew that I really liked it when Belle and Sebastian started playing (how predictable, I know). I was hoping that they were going to play "Stars of Track and Field" but I guess that was too obvious? I think that "Stars" is one of my favorite B&S songs. But then again, they are all my favorite. 

So...I went to my first allergy desensitization session this week. And it was heffing nuts. Absolutely crazy. Tuning forks. Cold laser. Coloured glasses. Sander-buffer thing. These are a few highlights. 

I also went to the dentist this week to get a filling. I had a cavity filled when I was a kid, but that was a long time ago. I found this experience quite traumatic. The part I hated most was the mouth dam. I did not like that. I was trying to tell two co-workers about the experience and this is an excerpt of what I described: "and then she asked me if I ever had a rubber dam in my mouth". Yeah... it was not until the words were out of my mouth that I realized what I had said. The assistant did not ask me that question in those words, by the way. For someone so wholesome, there is some crazy shit that comes out of my mouth. Yikes.

Today there was the Homeless Memorial. It was sad, but nice to be around people who care. People live such rough lives. I feel sad for myself when my leg goes numb, or when I want to eat a muffin. I can go home and do yoga and bake some GF stuff. Life could be so much harder. 

Energize While You Synergize

I just want to take some time to share with you, dear friends, how much I love carbohydrates. I love them. My current favorites (in no particular order): potatoes, rice and quinoa. My naturopath has convinced me to try to diversify my diet more. (I like the idea of eating locally but by cutting out wheat and corn my options are limited). (That was just in case you were judging me about my irresponsibility. I am jerk. I am knowing it). Sometimes I like to make jokes about not eating breads because I'm on Atkins. It's a joke that is quickly fading and was probably never very funny. But I laugh and laugh. Atkins! Can you even imagine?

Yesterday I went to a conference and the craziest thing happened. The facilitator used the words interface and synergy (about 4 times). "Hopefully we can interface again, and get some synergy going". What?! If it happened just once, I may have been able to handle it. But it happened more than once. When synergy got synergized, I scoffed. No one, not one, should use that word in any form more than once a day. I thought words like that were just jokes for people who understand Dilbert. I feel way more culturally relevant now. Finally.

MY HOUSE IS HOT!!!!! I live in an older house and the heat has been turned off for about a week now. But it's registering at about 26 degrees. Celsius.  Holy heff . Apparently there is a chance that some wires(?) are crossed and my suite is controlling a different suite's heat. The plumber is coming in next week. Until then, I will just try to enjoy balmy winter nights. 

Take Your Carriage Clock and Shove It

Three things:

1. My favorite thing on Arrested Development was when Lindsay was sitting on the photocopier making copies of a Volvo - and the jokes that followed. It was just dirty enough to keep me interested.

2. I received a strange request to take part in an interesting sounding project. One would assume that due to my emotional sluttery and high level of self disclosure I would be delighted at the offer... but it mostly just makes me uncomfortable. 

3. My motion sickness got really awful and I asked Jesus to heal it and it's not so awful now. Thanks God. 

(bonus) 4. I have my first allergy desensitization session Wednesday night!!