It's Time

I spent the afternoon reading at Churchill Square. I was sitting at a table in the beer gardens where it was nice and shady. I had just settled in when a coworker came and sat down with me. Now, we were in the beer gardens and I think she was there for awhile before I got there. She seemed quite upset that I was there by myself and she told me that I need a boyfriend. She's praying that I find a boyfriend. And she really really hopes that I find a boyfriend someday. And that I really really need a boyfriend. So I've decided to start accepting applications. (For a brief overview of the application process click here). Interested applicants can post their qualifications in confidence on the comments page. Best of luck.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Rock Show

We were almost in Red Deer when we got a flat tire. We were in the process of finding the spare and looking for a jack when a man and his daughter pulled up to give us a hand. Ten minutes later we were back on the road. We were clueless with where to go and what would be opened. Then we saw it. The Toyota dealership. I flashed the guy at the front desk and he promptly took my keys. We watched Malcolm in the Middle, read celebrity mags, played Sudoku and talked about boys while we waited. They weren't able to patch the tire, but did have one "in the back". When I went to pay for it, he said it was on the house and the paperwork would be more of a hassle than the tire was worth. What? The moral of this story: always travel with a group of "helpless girls" and always, always flash the guy at the front desk. One more thing. We took my car, and it was packed with five people and bags and carrot sticks and blankets. So, the poor guy had to move all our sh*t to put the tire back. I still feel a bit bad about that. But getting helped by a stranger and getting a tire for free was the best possible start to the trip. I can't think of anything that could have made me happier.
Destroyer and CVG were fantastic. They played at a church and I really like going to shows at churches. Yesterday we had the day to kill and we went to the Calgary Art Gallery and the exhibit was by John Hartman on cities and it was perfect. I love LOVE "the city". The city at its best reminds me our interdependence and makes me love the Creator. And I was able to enjoy the city in a new city and it was perfect. And Nelson Henricks "Map of the City" was fantastic. Mother Mother and Spoon were both awesome and I saw my aunt there. I also rubbed myself into a minor celebrity. And there were no flat tires on the way home. Just an awkward conversation with a kid at 7 eleven. Sigh. And the weekend has just begun!

Best Present

Today I remembered how last year Mike T. wrote and recorded me a birthday song and then did an airband to it. That was my best present ever.
Speaking of best presents...I had the most bizarre work interaction today. This person who was just stopping through town asked for support with a couple things before she continued on her way back home. About 4o minutes into our conversation she tells me that I "fascinate her". It may not sound creepy, but it was. I told her it was inappropriate, etc. and then she changed it to "this centre fascinates me," and then told me that I'm a genius that, um, fascinates her. Then she saw a paper on my notice board about transitional housing, and how she'd like to stay in the city and work with me on a daily basis. (At this point, she began to tap her fingers like I was tapping mine. I promptly stopped tapping). I told her that I couldn't work with her because she's being inappropriate, and there are other workers that would be better suited for her needs. She responds with: but I'd go into "Angela withdrawal". Yeah, this is like 5o minutes into meeting each other, and she was gonna go into withdrawal? Hmmm.....? So I had to go "check a fax" and what do I hear but my new friend moaning "Aannnngela..... Aannnngela...... Aannnngela.....". OH. MY. GOODNESS. Yeah. I really encouraged her to hop on the midnight bus going home.

Jens asks: ARE Birthdays Happy?

It was nearly two years ago that I had the worst birthday of my life. I've had many bad birthdays but this one was the bad-est. There were many problems. I had just come back from a terrible trip to Vancouver. I went there because...God told me to (?). What she was thinking? I don't know. I audited a class at Regent on the writings of Charles Williams. I love him. (He influenced many writers. "The Place of the Lion" was written before C.S. Lewis created Aslan. Check it out). I fell in love with a writer, so that was good. I also got parasites. My girls drove me down and it was at a patio along the ocean in White Rock that a bird shit in Lane's food. I thought mine was okay until I was finishing up and then realized that there was grey on my tomato. I was ILL the whole three weeks that I was there. The trip wasn't all Williams and sickness, I also had time to hang out in the downtown east side. Man I "love" slums.

So, I got back from this bizarre trip where I was so sick and so confused and so .... what the eff God? and I came home to craziness. There were people at my house ALL the time. And I'm not talking about "Heidi-people" I'm talking about people that I sometimes didn't want to be around. I come home from this excruciating trip and my home is not my home. My "home" is filled with roommates' friends until really late and I and just want it all to end.

I was looking for a job and thought that I could maybe settle for just a job. So I started at a coffee shop in a grocery store. And I had to wear a little hat. I was there for three days. On my third day I woke up and I was 25 and I was going to a shitty job where I had to wear a little hat and I freaked out and when I got home at the end of the day, I called the manager and quit and lied and said that I had another offer more in my field. Then I cried again. And then my friends took me to a patio with terrible music. And THAT was my worst birthday ever.

The next year, I went to the zoo during the day. Ate good food. Went to Wilco. This year, I'll be going to see Spoon. I think I'm on a roll. Sorry about all the birthday talk, but if I don't bore you, WHO will I bore?

It's my grandpa's birthday on the 28th and I discovered that he shares the same birthday as Rousseau. So, I decided to put a quote on his birthday card:

"Watch a cat when it enters a room for the first time. It searches and smells about, it is not quiet for a moment, it trusts nothing until it has examined and made acquaintance with everything.” Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778).

And THAT is why we study him today.

Jens, thanks for posing that important question. The answer is: sometimes.

3 things

I JUST got the BIGGEST hug ever from my favorite street person who just happens to have the bluest eyes on earth.

There was a fire that destroyed some of the Simple Ways' buildings.

Light City Fiction. Check them out.

Robot Jokes

I was looking for robot jokes today and here are some good ones.

Jokes
Made by Robots,
for Robots.

BY J. ALEX BOYD

- - - -

A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.

A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he'd like anything. The robot replies, "A soul."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A robot.
Oh, shit.

What's the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.

What's a robot's favorite cereal?
Rob-os.
(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.

Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.

Mayor of the Universe

I think that there should be a new addition to driver education and driving exams. This part would include appropriate and inappropriate ways to communicate with pedestrians and other drivers. Specifically this would include when and when not to yell things. I don't want to sound sexist, but if I was Mayor of the Universe I would target this education and testing on young men. Actually it would target all men. (I may be questionably sexist but I am NOT ageist).
I'm very curious what people think they will accomplish by doing the drive by catcall at someone walking on the sidewalk. "Gee whiz. That girl has all limbs attached - that's an attractive quality. Maybe if I yell something about the way she walks she'll want to have dinner with me and we'll fall in love over poetry and curry". Or "Wow. I've never seen a girl so close-up before. Maybe if I say something that makes her want to have an emotional shower she'll feel so broken and used she'll agree to sleep with me". For the record: maybe not.
Just yesterday I was commenting on how much better I've been feeling since I don't work in the drop in. I'm not surrounding by so many people all the time and I don't get hit on very often and I can dress normal. Skirts! Scarves! Sneakers! But then today I had a chat with a Mr. Dirty and it made me so angry. I find it interesting how a word (pretty) can be so nice, and can turn into an attack on one's person. Grrr.... Once again I don't know how I managed to get this life. I am SO not that girl. Anyway, soon after that annoying interaction Jesus brought my favorite crazy man into the office. He was fun. And he always makes me giggle and he was giggly today and he used some of the same words that Mr. Leer used, and like that I wanted to snap Mr. Leer's neck a little bit less. And I still might wear a skirt tomorrow.

Summer Loving

Wilco is coming to town August 18th. Yes. And the Works festival starts this week. There will be some good shows at Churchill Square. I'm looking forward to seeing some bands that I should already know. I really love summer. I always forget that I love it and then am always pleasantly surprised at how effin' awesome it is. Rock on, summer friends. Rock on.

Put Your Hands on Your Hips and pull your knees in tight...

For the first time ever I encouraged a colleague to read my blog. And he did. I think that it was a bit frightening for both us of us. I feel like we've entered new and exciting territory. Hello Jay, welcome to my blog.
I'm not sure if I should be allowed outta my house with my wallet from now on. I went to look for a baby shower gift (for a really great video with dinosaurs about showers click here). I came home with a really cute navy blue polka dot scarf, "Office Space" and "Rocky Horror Picture Show". None of those items are baby shower appropriate. Fortunately, all are Angie appropriate. (At least someone can use them).
It is raining really hard right now and there's lots of thunder. I'm sure thankful that I can enjoy the storm from the comfort of my home. And that my home isn't a tent.

Sad Day

First of all, I would just like to say that people only think I look like Lisa Loeb because of the glasses. That's it. We all know that's it. Just because my visual aid is a permanent fixture on my face and Lisa Loeb's "visual aid" is a permanent fixture on her face does not mean that we look alike. Okay? Okay.

Secondly, I helped with evicting homeless people yesterday. It was one of the most bizarre and sickingly sad events of my life. The B Centre was forced to ask people to move their camps out of our parking lot. I don't know how we got to this place where we so obviously disregard the value of some lives. (One amusing moment during the eviction was when a umm, verbose camper was talking to the camera and asked Mayor Howie Mandel to do something about the situation. I admit it, I giggled).
Check out the story here.

See Ya Later Heart. Thanks For Stopping By

Lately I've been feeling like my insides might just decide to leave me. My heart is ready to jump out at any moment. Duuuh-dut-duuuh-dut-duuuh-dut! Ka-bloo-eee! Outta my chest! I can't think straight. My mind is going. And don't get me started on my bowels. Trust me. We do not want to go there. My question is: where do my insides want to go? A different body? Different bodies? Do the different parts not like each other anymore? Are they sad that I don't travel much? Maybe they want to go Germany. I just don't have an answer to these important questions.

Hello Robot, pt. 2

Here are some pictures of the robot costume.











Not only did I take time out of my "busy schedule" to take photos, I also "persuaded" three coworkers to wear the costume. One of them road his bike while wearing it. Now the robot is being used to build up a cubicle wall so "guy who warned me of soy" can check his emails. Listen to this. I was just minding my own business when out of nowhere this guy jumps out of his cubicle and begins berating me for eating Soyogurt. (Okay, so since the Lord had healed my mind and I don't want to slip into a coma on a regular basis, I may, or may not, have become a bit of a pest at my work place. I may have become mildly obnoxious, but mildly obnoxious is not deserving of a scolding). Right, so this guy JUMPS out of his cubicle and tells me that I have a terrible diet. The warning was not convincing enough to change my soy habit, but it did make me feel lazy about not being careful enough about what I consume. Boo... soy warning guy! Boo.....!

Hello, Robot

Today at work, I made a robot costume. I cut two holes for arms and one hole for my head, slipped it on and went to work. I got lots of people from the drop in to sign it. Later, a colleague blew up gloves and we stapled them on the sides by the arm holes and he drew on nobs and buttons. Making that costume is pretty much the best thing I'll do all year, I'm sure. (I will try to remember to bring my camera in tomorrow to show y'all what a cardboard box and a little bit of creativity can accomplish).

Conspiracy and the Road Trip

I am becoming increasingly suspicious of the real ingredients of chocolate Silk Soy Beverage. I don't think it can be that addicting with legal substances. What would they be able to lace it with and still keep it affordable? I just don't have an answer to that question.



I am going to Calgary to see


Spoon



and



Chad VanGaalen


at Sled Island (on my birthday. Yesssss......!). I'm going with Sarah and Becky and Heidi and Justina. I am very very excited. There are few things that I like more than exploring new cities and going to rock shows. Now, if I could explore a new city with a sea lion. Or go to a rock show with a sea lion on the banjo. That might become my favorite thing. Yes. And if I could do those things without the eczema on my eyelid. Man, that would be perfect.


"stars of track and field are beautiful people" Belle and Sebastian

Shoulda Been a Cheerleader

I think that I may have missed my calling. I think that I would be an asset to a cheer squad. Now, I'm not talking about one of those teams that goes to competitions and does wicked awesome gymnastic moves. I'm talking about a crappy high school team - like the team at my high school. I am good at yelling and being fake peppy. "READY? OKAY! GIMME AN 'L'!" and so on and so on.
My birthday is this month and that makes me want to do fun things all the time.
One fun thing that I've been doing is thinking about sea lions a lot. I LOVE sea lions (and Sea Lion Woman). Thinking about sea lions has turned me into a giggle-bot. Aarrfff aarrrffff!
I am going crazy for an out of town adventure but my bank account tells me that now is not the right time. I tried to rope some people into taking a road trip to Montreal and it seemed like a good idea. But seriously, who has the time to drive to Montreal? I really wanted to go to some rock shows there. But instead, it looks like maybe I'll take a little trip to Calgary for some rock shows (Spoon is coming! Youpee!). And I'd be gone for my birthday which is perfect because lots of my peeps are busy that day and I am birthday centric and easily disappointed.
I've been happy for a week. That may not seem like a huge accomplishment but it's been awhile since I've been happy for a whole week. Thank you sea lions. Thank you sea lion Creator.

Heart of the City Festival

Hey kids I almost forgot (thanks LT for reminding me) that the Heart of the City Festival is THIS Saturday, June 9th. From 11 am to 10 pm there will be music and fun at Giovanni Caboto Park (95 street and 108 avenue). Be there or consider yourself squared.

Follow Up

I forgot to update about the sad situation with the man who's wife passed away. He needed a bus ticket to get to her funeral - it was a 5 hour ride (way too long to hitchike). Finding a Greyhound ticket is almost impossible. I usually just tell people that I have no access to one and pass the buck (I just don't have time to track one down). Well, this situation was different. Thank goodness for discernment. My first instinct was to try Central Baptist. I am a member and I know that once a month we take up an extra offering for meeting the special needs of the community. I called and there was no one in the office authorized to make such a decision, but they promised to call me back. So I called a few more churches in the meantime. No one bit. Central called back right away and thought it was a great idea. My friend made it to the funeral in time. What a blessing. I drove him to the bus station and asked him for a hug and he complied. I was teary and I asked for a hug. I threw my professional boundaries out the window and I don't regret it for a second. Still a very sad story, but the church pulled through...better ending than I was expecting. (Maybe I should expect a little more...)

Darkness and the Dress

On Thursday I found it. I found a dress for Esther’s wedding. No. I found the dress for Esther’s wedding. Actually I found the dress. It’s perfect. It’s pretty and will swirl around when I dance. (And I will dance). It’s a dress that I can wear whatever I want under it. No sucking in devices. It’s perfect. My life is now complete in the dress department. Youpee!! I was awfully concerned about finding something wedding worthy. I feel like a grubby kid most of the time and it was good to find something that wasn’t grubby and make me feel like I’m not the one who ruined all the photos. (Just for the record, I think it will be Lauryn who ruins all the photos. She’s so gross).
Yesterday I got scared. I am afraid of the dark and going into space and choosing the wrong partner. But I don’t usually get scared during the day. I had to check in on someone’s camp because someone apparently got the shit beat out of them and was bleeding from their head. I checked, and he was indeed bleeding. I don’t know who was using what, but I have never seen that group of friends so violent before. I was absolutely sickened. One of the guys threatened me and I actually felt threatened. I believe that the spiritual world and the natural world are one and the same and that they are innately part of one another. That camp was one dark place. It made me so angry. I really hate how life and love gets stolen away. These friends were turning on each other and beating the shit out of one another. I saw hate. That hate scared me. I am so mad that hate can exist. I have it in me sometimes too. How can I get rid of my hate and rid that camp of hate? How can I make people choose life and love? How can people choose life and love when they feel they have no choice? God help us all.