Modern School Girl

The months of stressing about my stupid 10 year reunion are now behind me. I am not so good in most social situations, and found myself clinging to the much more popular Heidi. It was nice to see some people and I became relieved with the way my life has turned out. I wanted an education. I got an education. I wanted a career. I have a career. I wanted love and fun and happiness. I have everything that I dreamed of. I spent the day with Heidi and the smartest kid in school. As we caught up with people and told them what we were doing (social work, community health nurse, and engineer) people would often respond with: that fits. That's not a surprise. I now wish that I would have told people that I was an accountant. I wonder if responses would have been the same.
I am self aware. I am aware of what I'm thinking, feeling, how my bowels respond to ____. But I've never been very good at knowing what people think of me. I'm too introverted and shy to ever be popular. I dance too loud and messy to ever be pretty. I have too many opinions to ever be a pleasant party people. I have absolutely no idea what people think of me. So, it was a bit surprising to hear that some of my former classmates were cognizant enough of my existence to actually have expectations for my life.
The fair was fair. The tractor pull was dampened by the rain and the fact that my heart was broken by two boys I love who don't seem to reciprocate the feeling. I was able to catch up with a couple people I hadn't seen in years and I am even going to work towards becoming facebook friends with them. I also got to hang out with my niece. I don't see her often enough and she is getting bigger and more alert. I hope that she ends up looking like me. Then she cannot deny that I am related to her. Ha! I am going to teach her about so many things. About vegetarianism, and how to use a sewing machine, and second hand shopping, and global trading practices, and how the senate was originally created to equalize the provinces, and Jesus. We are going to have a blast. It's strange to think of how my kids (if I have kids) will likely have such different childhoods from their cousins. My children will likely grow up with little money. They will have to pick only one sport to play. They will eat their veggies. I hope that those kids will get along. And that is the end of this post.