Men

Today was my second, and last day of being friends with two nice boys. Oh the memories that I will have forever. Sitting on a bench in the park, sitting on a chair in a house, walking down the street, walking up a hill... When we were walking, we passed a young woman who was really high and messed up. Then we saw this guy, in his early 20s, he was clean looking, middle class. We were close by as he passed the girl, and he asked if she "wanted to party". It was really terrible. She was so vulnerable - and he just really wanted to take advantage of her. I know this happens lots, but it was gross to see. It's men like that who make me want to not walk alone. It's men like that who make me feel like maybe I should be wearing a bigger hoodie, like it's a problem and my fault for having a body. It's men like that who make me want to say "I don't like men". But I know that by taking a stand like "some men are johns, so I don't like men" is a really hateful thing. And, I was with two men who were equally upset with this guy's behavior. There are lots of really good people in this world. There are lots of people, men and women, who value life. There are men out there who don't do the drive by heckle. I am going to try to be more aware of my "I don't like men" thoughts and statements. There are lots of good men out there.

Decisions Decisions

So I didn't make it to Calgary yesterday. Andy was arriving at the Calgary airport from his Italian excursion. Jess went to pick him up. She was going to leave sometime after one. I thought: hey, people shouldn't let their friends drive three hours all alone. I should go with her. So, I gave her a call and left work early and hopped in her car. I immediately knew I had made the wrong decision. My leg and back issues make sitting a bitch. And it was warm and wet and I typically vomit under those conditions. So, 1o blocks into our journey, I asked her to pullover and I walked home. Spazzy? Yes. Best decision ever? Maybe. Last night I finished rereading the final Harry Potter book and I did the dishes and I tidied up a bit and I danced and went to bed at 9:30. Best decision ever? Absolutely.

Hey, Valentine!

I know you are all probably wondering how my Valentine's day was. Well, it was pretty good. Work was okay, supper was good, someone bought me shit that I don't need, and we had a community meeting. At the meeting, we decided that we are going to form as a continuing co-operative. This seemed like the best option for awhile, but the work, and potential cost of setting up a co-op was a huge deterrent. Last Saturday, we met with a group that consults co-housing groups. It was nice to get some professional advice, but the cost of having them plan our project was just too much. So we're going to do most of the leg work, and check in with them periodically to make sure that we're on the right track. This has been my dream for 3 years and it looks like it's really going to happen. I am very excited. My heart is racing, but it is now passed my bedtime. I hope I can sleep....

Best Night Ever

Aaugh! It's only 8 and I'm already having the best night. I took my roommate to catch the shuttle to the airport. I am home alone and wearing only one pair of pants. That's right...the legging pair. And my mom called to tell me that if I save my grocery receipts I can claim the difference in cost of my gluten free breads and regular things on my taxes. And I just made some white basmati rice. White rice and leggings. This night is OFF THE HOOK!

Yeah, I'm Gonna Marry a Carrot

I am winding down after a grumpy/crappy week with the Simpsons. It's the episode when Lisa decides to become a vegetarian. I remember when I was a kid and wanted to become a vegetarian. I mentioned it once or twice to my mom. She didn't receive it well, and as I was the peace maker child in my family, I didn't push it.  It wasn't until my second year on my own that I went for it. I finally went down the path that was chosen for me. It was an exciting time. But it was also stressful relating my choice to the people that knew me all my life. I am thankful that I had that discussion with my family years ago. It was an uncomfortable time. I stopped eating meat AND I got my nose pierced. How could I have tortured my parents so much? It's funny to look back on because neither of those actions should have been that big of a deal. But I guess my folks felt like I was rejecting their way of life. My life does look a lot different than theirs, but our core values remain similar. We value love, laughter, and punk rock. 

My grandma still seems to find it very odd. She is a wonderful and hilarious woman and when she remembers my deficiency she says something like, "Oh Angie, what are YOU going to eat? Should I boil you an egg?" If I didn't have the gluten thing going on, I would try veganism, but I do have the gluten-thing, so yes, Grandma, an egg would be great.  

I really do love this episode - its the one with the pig roast. A few years ago we had a family reunion with a pig roast. It was a bonding time for me with my parents and brothers. Despite (or maybe because of) raising pigs on the farm for years, most of us don't do pork. It was hard to not picture the roast floating through the air...  Anyway, if there is one thing I have learned from the Simpsons: "You don't make friends with salad". 

So Long Friends...

Okay, so I'm not a super internet-y kind of gal. I like it. I use it. But I'm not the person you go to hear about new cool things on this world wide web. I obsessively look on real estate sites to find the perfect home for my community. I read my friends blogs. I sometimes check the news. And that's about it. Well, the times, they are a-changin'. I love the blogosphere. I love how indulgent it is. I love how strangers can stumble upon my ramblings and become instantly bored. I love how I can get to know intimate details of a person's life that I will never know. I love it, I love it, I love it. So, my new hobby is reading the blogs of strangers. It feels a bit uncomfortable and creepy but I'm willing to suck it up for the sake of entertainment. From now on my internet time will be divided as follows: emailing 30%; real estate 10%; facebook 10%; blog-related activities 50%. I am very, very excited about this new arrangement. One more change, I have decided to change the break down of my days: sleep 8.5 hours; eating/cooking/grocery shopping 1.5 hours; work 8 hours; exercise 1 hour; neti pot .25 hours; thinking about unicorns and/or Scott Baio .25 hours; bathroom .5 hours; internet 5 hours. That leaves no time for real life friends. Sorry. It was nice while it lasted.  

Read at Your Own Risk

I got accused of "swooning" today. I don't consider myself to be one who swoons.  I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me. I have a two week attention span. I am the fickle-est of the fickle. I sometimes wish that I could engage in a normal level of unhealthiness and get my heart broken in a "normal" way. Maybe I don't have a heart. Or, maybe all the bubble wrap that I've been eating is doing it's job and my heart is enjoying the protection only plastic can provide. Sexy. I'm going to blame today's posting on the upcoming V-day. Blah. If I start to complain about consumerism, it will be so obvious that I am only doing so because I have no one to buy me shit that I don't need. Well, so what. I can buy myself chocolate, and I know how to read labels for my diet better than anyone else. So take that. 

I am so grumpy today it's ridiculous. If only my bubble-wrapped heart had room to breathe. Maybe then I'd be loveable and loving. Maybe then.

Take These Seeds, and Shove 'Em

Today, Candeo played at short video at Central about the property we are working on purchasing and renovating. It's exciting to hear that people are excited for us. It's nice to finally have something tangible. Yah! I was a bit nervous about the video because we filmed it last Saturday and there were a couple disastrous moments. For me, the most disastrous was when I was doing fake chin ups standing on a ladder. I fell off, and Duane caught me. It was really really awkward. But that moment did not make the cut. Phew. 

My doc has got me eating seeds. That sounds fine. But it's not fine. I am currently eating 2 tbsp ground flax seed. I put it in strawberry/apple sauce. It's the most disgusting part of my day. And I'm taking so many things I forget what it's supposed to help. I alternate between flax and sunflower seeds depending on the moon. The oil is supposed to help __. What __ is, I have no idea. I just finished it. I really hate eating it. Oh well.

I know that I have been writing/talking/thinking too much about my health, but it just really excites me right now. I now feel well enough to read my body. Now I want to eat when I'm hungry, not when I've stopped hurting. I base my eating around hungry/not hungry rather than hurting lots/not hurting too much. Can you even believe it??? Corn really effed me up. Good bye, leaky gut. Good bye.

Tonight, Central starts a month of Sunday night lectures from the Micah Challenge. I am really excited. "Only YOU can make poverty history". 

Decidedly NOT a Fish Eater

I do not have to take fish oil. I do not have to take fish oil! I DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE FISH OIL! How awesome is that?
I am pouting because I have to work late tonight and it's snowy and I'm sleepy and I'm addicted to a series of novels about a young wizard. Because I am pouting, I think it would be best if I reflected on the funniest thing I heard this week. I was in the drop in and this guy said "why do you work in the inner city...when you could be a model?" I almost crapped my pants it was so funny. I think he meant model citizen. I vote in most elections; I hardly speed; I never purposely trip people on the sidewalk.