Yesterday I went out for supper to celebrate the birth of my favorite Guetalaman. When I got up from the table, I realized that my leg was asleep. My legs and feet fall asleep on a regular basis, but I've never experienced it like I did yesterday. My leg went wobbly. As I walked, my leg just wouldn't stay straight. I kept on thinking of Katherine O'Hara's character Cookie Guggleman Fleck in "Best in Show". Remember when she sprains her ankle? I am always so annoyed when I watch her walk. I mean, no one ever walks like that. Well, now I know. She sure showed me.
Today I found myself in a peculiar position. Just last week I was at Schock-land sobbing on the big red couch because I just can't take the drop-in portion of my job anymore. I just can't do it. The leering and gross man talk has injured my spirit so terribly I felt that I could never be whole again. Today my new boss told me that she wants me out of the drop-in to lower my level of stress. Wanna know what I said to her? I said...I need to be in there. I told her that it is better for my team of colleagues if I am there to give them more of a break. For the sake of the collective good, I will fight to remain in the drop-in. Funny. Huh?
The time I spent on the couch organically removing my mascara was also spent talking with God. (Yes, THE God). Now, at the risk of sounding like a Christian, God is good! Even when I'm broken into a million pieces, I'm not untouchable. I'm still redeemable. I can still experience healing. God also reminded me that she'll tell me when it's time to move on to another position. For now I still have a stupid amount of peace with where I spend my waking hours. That's why when I was given an out - an out that I've been dreaming of - I found myself forming words that I may curse tomorrow.
I fought for my right to work in the drop-in. Ha.
Yesterday I finally got a joke that I didn't know I didn't get for months. Jess/Andy took a photo of a t shirt when they were in Chile. It's funny now that I get it.
2 comments:
ANGIE!!!! I am thrilled with this post. God IS good. I am glad that you are feeling peace about the drop-in once again. You really are amazing at what you do. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Umm...I think I may have misrepresented what was going on inside me. I've always felt peace and still usually don't like doing what I'm doing. In conclusion, I still don't like most of what I do at work. It is still sucking my life away. I just had to stand up for what I thought was right.
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