HOPE!!!

On Thursday during my lunch break I sat at the pool in front of city hall. I love LOVE being near water...as long as it doesn't touch me. The day seemed pretty perfect. It was cool enough to wear my hood and I really love wearing a lot of clothes. I sat there and I flipped through a weekly and listened to Destroyer and then I got a coffee. On my way back to work I realized that I was in love. Not "in love" with a boy or something crazy like that. Just in love. The Creator really loves me and at that moment I felt it.
I believe in heaven. I don't think much about an otherworldly heaven, but I believe that the world is filled with bits of heaven and hell. When I choose love over self interest, I get a glimpse of heaven. Sometimes heaven just happens. I just happened to have my guard down for a second and the Creator reminded me of her presence and how good she is.
Yesterday I got some bad news. One of my favorite people in the world is struggling with some heavy shit right now. It broke my heart. Into a million pieces. But I have hope.
It's funny how I felt so rooted in goodness, and then a day later I watched it shatter. I couldn't stop yelling dirty words and then plead for healing. I can't imagine going through life without hope. I have such hope that there can be good. I have hope because I believe I am part of something big. I am part of the world that was carefully created and sustained by Love. I believe that Jesus was who he said he was. I have hope in community. I have hope that one day we'll understand why we consume. I have hope that one day all people will be valued equally. I have hope that one day we'll put down our arms. Maybe I won't see these things happen on this earth, but I still have hope.