Blog This, Sucka

Some people don't like the blogosphere. Today, someone told me he thinks "blogs are weak and smell". What? Obviously, I disagree. I even went as far as saying "blogging is my favorite pastime". What? Obviously that was an exaggeration. Airbanding is clearly my favorite pastime. I never feel as alive as I do with a pretend microphone in my hand. Sigh.
Lately, I've been thinking about my "dream job". Some people dream of being an accountant in a big firm. Some people just really want to teach Spanish to ungrateful teens. I realized last night that I am lacking a dream job, but I certainly have ideas of a dream life. I like what I do for the most part...when I don't want to kick someone in the crotch. So this may actually be as close as I will get to a dream job. Yikes. All I really want with life is to spend my days with poor people and the Creator. I want to live in community with people and dance my ass off. I want to be good friends with a dog. I want to be good friends with a little person/people (children, not necessarily short people). I want to drink coffee and write. I want to read. I think it's good for me to come to terms with a potential lack of career. I can just have a job and be reasonably happy without worrying about a promotion. At the same time, I don't want to put too much hope on a dream life, either. What if I can't live in community? What if I find out that my terrible dancing is actually terrible and entirely devoid of charm? What if I develop a severe allergy to both dogs and kids? What if? This sh** is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S! (Second time today I quoted this song).

Vermilion Fair

The Vermilion Fair was AWESOME for a very short while. I shrieked for about an hour. SHRIEEKKK! Carmel apples! SHRIEEEKK! KM who used to ride my bus asked if I was "married off". SHRIEEEKKK! I ran into Joel and Esther who exited my car about an hour earlier. SHRIEEEKKKK! We're in Vermilion! We're in VERMILION! We went to the beer gardens where all the drinks were only $3. Heidi and I watched a couple for far too long. Is this their first date? Did they meet tonight? Their knees are touching. Will their lips touch before the night is over? Man, oh man. Next year I want to be able to go for longer and look at the displays and the tractor pull and the grandstand show. And I will likely avoid eye contact with all the men again. But maybe I will be even more deliberate about it. (Or maybe I'll enjoy the $3 drinks a little more and be a little less deliberate). You are ALL invited to enjoy the festivities with me next year. So fun.

Rufus' Legs

My apologies to those of you that have already heard this story. (I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog to "stories that everyone who reads this blog has already heard" or "rage against the fill in the blank").
I was sitting outside Wunderbar (101 street and Whyte Avenue) at a table waiting for some music to knock my socks off. There were groups of people on each side of me. On one side sat a group of ER nurses from an inner city hospital. A guy that I know was half cut and asking for money. He was a bit persistent, but kind. One of the guys asked him to leave, and they both became aggressive. Then as he walked past me I tried to de-escalate the situation by, I dunno, talking to him like he was a person. And he was awesome as always, then as he passed the nurses they were really rude and told him that they were off work and they'd see him Monday (I understand the need for boundaries, but they were so ARROGANT and mean). I was really pissed off. Then he made a funny joke saying "this is called called WHITE avenue, right?" and they didn't get it. I was so angry I had to go inside. Grrrr... I was so angry and felt justified in my anger. I wanted to punch the most arrogant nurse. I'm glad I didn't. But I wished that I would have gone with my gut instinct and went for a walk with the guy to get him out of the scene and spare some of his humanity. But I didn't. I've been realizing that I will often hold onto anger and sadness from injustices - believing that if I don't feel like I'm going to break in two, then no one is grieving for the situation and someone NEEDS to grieve. I absolutely need to cry for the poor and broken, but it doesn't help anything to stew over it for centuries. I sometimes forget about Jesus and how he is really good at grieving. It's okay and even important to feel angry and sad about stuff, but if I don't pass it along to Jesus to redeem it then nothing is gained or made right.
On a lighter note... I'm going to the Vermilion fair tonight. Woohoo! And apparently Rufus Wainwright has really nice girlish legs. I don't know from first hand viewing, but that's all I've heard about for the last two days...

My Heart Will, My Heart Will Go On

Today had some suckiness to it. There was a twinge of suck. There's a regular at work that drives me nuts because he's dirty, and he said something dirty to me while touching my back and I freaked out and I told him to f*** off. Then I effed off upstairs because I thought I may otherwise punch him or the next person who got in my way. When I made my way back downstairs I found myself in the middle of a fight and that just pissed me off more. Then we closed up early because there was a near riot in the food line. Grrr..... Then I went for a walk with two coworkers where I explained how I don't do well with seemingly nice comments (ie. maybe you wouldn't have so many problems if you didn't look so good.) Grrr.... For the record: shut the eff up, biatch. And then I went back to work for a debrief of the morning's events and then a session on sexual harassment. And no, the Sexual Harassment Panda was not present. Thank you for asking. (And yes I am drinking wine right now. And no. It's not enhancing my mood. Thanks for asking.)
Peace and love. PEACE and LOVE.
(A boy that I had a celebrity crush on about 5 years ago added me as a friend on Facebook. OH-MY-GOODNESS!)

Desert Island

I love how the weather was THE event of the weekend. Heat. I don't love it as much as I don't love it. It makes me a bit sad when I leave my house with medium-okay hair and by the time I get to my destination I have "sad bangs syndrome" (SBS). I think the weather is one of my favorite things about Edmonton. Being an Edmontonian makes me feel like I'm hardcore. Don't mess with me. I'm hardcore.
About an hour ago I agreed that if I was stranded on a desert island I might partner with one of my coworkers. Now I just need to get on a plane...
Things I would like to bring with me on a desert island:
A stereo with Belle and Sebastian (the band, not just an album), mix tape including, but not limited to the songs: Billie Jean (MJ), Toxic (Britney) and Closing Time (Leonard Cohen). Lots of paper and colorful pens. The Message (I don't seem to enjoy reading it much right now, but if I was on a desert island I think I might crave it more). Books, books, books. A computer with the biggest battery in the world and the TV series Lost. I've never watched the show before, but I can't imagine a better time to start. And an umbrella. And a way off the island. And cocktails. And a way off the island.

Happy Happy

I have a terrible habit of blogging when I feel like my life is caving in. So here are some happy things about today:

* When I went to get the paper, there was also a little bag from Jess who left this morning for Guatemala. Keys so I can water her plants, fruit that would otherwise rot, and a card and cookies because she loves me.
* I called a number at just the right time and got a guy a place to live.
* In response to a moment of grumpy-ness, a coworker got down on his knees and did his best sea lion impression. It was impressive.
* I did the dishes for the first time since Saturday and now the kitchen looks habitable once more.
* Supper at Sugarbowl with E squared (she paid).
* Hung out with Lauryn and Heidi.
* Hung up the painting that Todd to the Shin made for my birthday (it's in my bedroom for all those that care).
* Hung in. (that was lame-ass. sorry).

I was recently remembering going to Shakespeare in the Park in Montreal a few years ago. I can't remember what play it was but I do know that it was set in the settlers time and some of it was in French and some of the characters were Aboriginal. It sounds like a great idea but I remember thinking: Edmonton's is better. Good work Edmonton, good work. I saw "Two Gentlemen of Verona" on Tuesday. It was great. Good work Shakespeare, good work.

My heart has broken more this afternoon. I am tired of all of this.
I just was the first on scene after a woman got stabbed in the ass. Sadly, that was one of the better parts of my day. Shakespeare...you better be better than I'm expecting....

Updates

To all my adoring fans, I'm very sorry for neglecting you of the mundane going-ons of my life the past week. So here is a brief update on my life:
* After being near Caylie for a couple hours, my craftiness decided that it was finally time to re-surface. I altered a shirt that I bought over a month ago. So if you see me wearing a silly looking shirt with sea creatures....
* I completed my birthday celebrations on Friday with supper and hanging out. I ordered the WORST meal ever and I was really sad. But then I bought wine with a really cute label and became less sad. Oh yah, and I hung out with some of the best people ever. That made me less sad, too. (Esther and Joel made me a shirt that almost caused me to pee my pants. It has their faces on robot bodies. Funny.)
* I celebrated Jessica's birthday. I got to go to Value Village and I made an ice cream cake that was apparently DEE-licious. I also sat by a fire that was fuelled by stained wood. I think the toxins are almost off my body.
* Since Friday I've been trying to get someone into an emergency accommodation. She came in today with a black eye - and now my heart is broken. Perfect.
* On Sunday I went to some live music and I almost talked to an old friend who is now married and apparently not my friend. Maybe one day he'll want to talk to me...
* Yesterday I started reading "Girlfriend in a Coma" - and then I went into a coma at 8:30. Coincidence?
* Tonight I am going to Shakespeare in the Park and I am excited.
* No one (not one) took me up on the boyfriend application. Truthfully, I'm not disappointed. Maybe a little.