I Think I Might Be an Evangelical

Listen up, Internet! I got something to say!

I've been thinking about changing churches. I've been at my (baptist) church for almost a decade. I like many things about it. I feel like it's made up of folks who are earnestly working to make the world a better place, and collectively have a beautiful faith. Sunday mornings are usually pretty okay times, and has an impact on my week. But I have some concerns. A few months ago all the Elders came to the front of the sanctuary. I have no prior memory of seeing all the Elders together. There were no ladies in that group. This hit me really hard. I know that my values are not fully in-line with many of that church, but the visual representation of the role of women hurt my heart. Having children of my own isn't really part of my plan, but I sure would like to foster at some point. Is it ethical for me to bring children to a church with (mostly hidden) sexist values? Did I mention that my dream is to foster LGBTQ kids that aren't safe at home because of their LGBTQ-ness? Would an obviously gay boy be accepted at the youth group? I think many would be amazing and inclusive, but I do not think it's out of line to assume that some would be a little on the rotten side (and I'm not just talking about the youth). Do I work on establishing roots in an affirming church for the possibility of fostering? Should I leave my current church or wait it out? What should my role be? Am I up for trying to stir things up a bit?
When I talk about my faith, I identify as Christian, who attends an evangelical church - and doesn't particularly identify as evangelical. This semester I've stayed in the new west a few weekends and have started attending a united church. I pretty much want to cry (in a good way) when I'm there. It's nice to see a diversity of families. It's nice to hear talk about the environment. It's nice. I feel the spirit there. It's easy. I am so accustomed to sitting through Sunday services with a critical ear and the sense that: if they only knew how many dirty word combinations I can come up with... I want to leave my current church because it would be easy and it's nice to be around more like-minded people.
Reasons to stay connected to an evangelical church: I really love Jesus. I see good in the intimacy with Jesus that results from actively seeking to integrate him into my heart and my life. The person-centered focus can distract from the work that Jesus' life, death, and resurrection have on bringing justice to the world - but I think the work that can happen in the person can lead to bringing justice to the world. I think the good news is GOOD FREAKIN' NEWS and should be shared. (I mean, I want the world to know about the need for nasal irrigation. Why wouldn't I want to talk about Jesus?!). BUT I can already feel the novelty of fitting in wearing off. I think I've come to find comfort in feeling slightly out of sync.

Hmmm... so all that to say that over the course of writing this post, I now don't know if I'm going to change churches anytime in the near future. I think when I get back home in the spring I will make the choice to once again start investing time and energy into the church. And I will start voting conservative. Wink. Because I might be an evangelical. WInk wink. (omg lol).